Flying RAF Style

[soprano54]

On a recent trip to BATUS a group of lads from the Regiment happened to be stranded at Brize Norton due to aircraft going u/s, nothing unusual there then apart from the location as they normaly go 'tits up' in more exotic places and when there are no passengers on board!
My namesake happened to be the 'Chalk Commander' and imagine his suprise when over the departure lounge tannoy system came an anouncement saying that the Station Commander (Normaly a Group Captain - In translation of the bar-code a Full Col!) would be arriving shortly to explain the reason for the delay! Now call me old fashioned but I'd have prefered the Flt Engineer - 'Right mate your fan belts slipping and your brakes are pulling to the right' or something of that ilk.
After the 'Staish' left, 'DF' decided to find out why they'd had such preferential treatment, so he wondered up to a young spotty 'Crab Air' bloke and asked. 'Spotty Crab' then said 'Oh it was because there is a General on your flight'! 'DF' is now and then asks 'Where is he'? 'Oh erm over there' at the same time pointing to a blerk leaning up against one of the pillars drinking a brew, when 'DF' had a closer look it turns out the so called 'General' is a 'Drop Short' WO2 'SMIG' wearing a crown and crossed cannons! I reckon they should have milked it for all it's worth.................................TWWWWAAAAAATTTTSSSS!!!

[soprano54]

Okay the RAF or to use it's new name U3...................Utterly, Utterly Useless!!! ISTR a flight back from BATUS in a the late seventies, where one of the four engines on the Vic10 we were on had alledgedly blown up on take off from Calgary! WTF .................I didn't hear a thing! This we only found out when we landed at Reykjavík and informed that there would be a delay, we were duly fed, watered and allowed to get back on the aircraft to retrieve our 'Green Slugs'................................anyone remember we also has had to carry our PAAAAARRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAA's as well, this is cos' we were flying over the Arctic Circle! Several hours past, a few more beers were fired down range and people started to get thier heads down all over the 'Arrivals' lounge. That was okay but every so often we were woken up by other arrivals who took great delight in taking pics of dribbling, snoring and farting 'Tankies' dossing in their 'Maggots'! After what seemed an age a VC10 arrived carrying the replacement engine for the one that was 'Cattle Trucked', the next thing the 'Crabs' had to do was take the seats out of our aircraft and fit them in the new one so we could sit on something and we then got on our merry way back to Germany. We heard later that the next flight from Calgary landed just after we left and as they walked into 'Arrivals' the first thing everyone said apparently was 'This place smells of 'Green Slug'!!!

The good news is that nowadays if you get to Calgary and find that your flight is delayed you don't go back to 'Crowfoot'! It is up to the RAF to put you up! ;D Happened to me the last time at the end of 03 and we we ended up in a hotel near the airport and given dosh for food and booze!!!